Tv Show Master Gifts

"The fact that you forecast the winner of the TV cooking contest does NOT make you a chef!"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

The Masters.

'We're hoping to release him over the Grand Canyon.'

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

"Why, this broth we made is magnificent!"

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

What Dads Are Made of,,,

'No! The bully in Tom Brown's Schooldays was called 'Flashman' not 'Paxman'.'

Too many kooks spoil the Broth.

'I've lost my voice...'

'Better not circulate these.'

"There you are, dear. . . that's you all set to watch satuday night television now!"

Canned laughter

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

Global Warming

Policlicks.

'Now that Jim sits in front of a computer all day, he's lost the will to watch TV.'

Mute. It is sort of like saying "shut up," but no

Girl on couch considers channel-hopping to be a sport

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

"Did you happen to catch the last season of 'Lost'?"

'How embarrassing. My parents are the only ones on the block who haven't aired their dirty laundry on a TV talk show.'

'They've gone overboard on this trend.'

Glacially Motivated

"Hey! Will that be Thingy out of 'Whatdyamecallit'?"

Long-running shows

'I don't sit here all the time, Mom. Just June through August.'