Tv Show Master Pillows

"The fact that you forecast the winner of the TV cooking contest does NOT make you a chef!"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'We're hoping to release him over the Grand Canyon.'

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

"Why, this broth we made is magnificent!"

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'No! The bully in Tom Brown's Schooldays was called 'Flashman' not 'Paxman'.'

Too many kooks spoil the Broth.

'Better not circulate these.'

'I've lost my voice...'

"There you are, dear. . . that's you all set to watch satuday night television now!"

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'

Canned laughter

Global Warming

"Did you happen to catch the last season of 'Lost'?"

'Now that Jim sits in front of a computer all day, he's lost the will to watch TV.'

'How embarrassing. My parents are the only ones on the block who haven't aired their dirty laundry on a TV talk show.'

Policlicks.

Girl on couch considers channel-hopping to be a sport

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

Long-running shows

"Hey! Will that be Thingy out of 'Whatdyamecallit'?"

Glacially Motivated

'I don't sit here all the time, Mom. Just June through August.'

Newborn's TV.