Tv Remote Master Pillows

Policlicks.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

National Coffee Day

'You're texting? Wait--'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

'Interactive TV news.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

Mind control

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

"I am a control freak."

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

Girls night!

'Bird menu.'

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'