Tv Remote Master Pillows

What Dads Are Made of,,,

Policlicks.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

National Coffee Day

'You're texting? Wait--'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'Interactive TV news.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"God, I love this show!"

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

Mind control

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

Is that a new hi-tech remote? Yeah, it's a real game-changer!

"I am a control freak."

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'Bird menu.'

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'