Remote Controller Master Pillows

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Penguin Remote

"...and in conclusion..."

How the goat got square eyes.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

Meditation vs. Vegetation

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"In my opinion, the best invention was the TV-remote: It used to take me ages to change channel when I had to walk from the couch to the TV..."

Mind control

Is that a new hi-tech remote? Yeah, it's a real game-changer!

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

"You have repetitive motion injury."

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

2016 Policlicks

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

Note: Remote control goes inside the soup spoon.

"She died doing what she loved."

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."