Remote Controller Master Pillows

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"...and in conclusion..."

How the goat got square eyes.

Penguin Remote

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

"In my opinion, the best invention was the TV-remote: It used to take me ages to change channel when I had to walk from the couch to the TV..."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Mind control

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"You have repetitive motion injury."

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

Note: Remote control goes inside the soup spoon.

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

"She died doing what she loved."

2016 Policlicks

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.