Remote Control Master Pillows

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

Four thousand dollars later and there's STILL nothing to watch!

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

'It's repetitive strain injury - try using the thumb on your other hand for the television remote.'

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

Missing the score on a split-screen TV

'I wish someone would finally make that Tucker Carlson shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

'All you do is to sit in front of that thing and. . .'

Sloth...

'This is even better than HEADLIGHTS!'

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

"Put a remote in his hand and you would have a hard time telling he was dead.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Penguin Remote

How the goat got square eyes.

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

Meditation vs. Vegetation

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

Mind control

Is that a new hi-tech remote? Yeah, it's a real game-changer!

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'