Tv Property Show Fan Prints

'I'm not into property developing, I just want to climb ladders and slide down snakes'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Well I think the Real question is..."

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would make a great reality show."

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'

Man sees capitol building: 'Truth, Justice, Reality TV'

The Mom quiz show

As Seen On TV

'OK, you've got your problems. Now, you can keep them and walk away - or trade them with whoever's behind door number one, two or three.'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

The Party of Lincoln

Michael Grade is right...ITV needs more real writers which is why we want you to commission 'celebrity novelists get me out of here'.

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

'We need more cake shows!'