Tv Presenter In Training Gifts

"No, no, the way you're shifting your papers - it's all wrong."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Three more years of high school."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Stephen Fry

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

Reporter #6: television.

Next camera crew 5 mins

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Presenter Auditions.

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

Stephen Fry