Tv License Skeptic Pillows

'BBC Phone Poll'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

Bad Influence of TV

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

Remote control that is remote - in the wilderness

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

Go To Sleep Britain...

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

'The doctor from 'daytime television' said I've got gall stones, but I thought I'd better come to you for a second opinion.'

"Yes, it is an interesting coffee table, isn't it? My husband made it from an old telly we never use."

"It means this show has been dumbed down to the level of people who couldn't pour water out of a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the heel."

"I just don't get these reality shows!"

'Hello, and welcome to Acme Cable. If you're calling about a billing issue, big whoop. Get over it and pay the bill. If your cable is out, who cares. When it's fixed, you'll know it. If you're...'

"No wonder they leave the house every day: daytime TV is awful..."

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

First and last day as member of the CRTC.

'The 2 minute hate.'

'I've got nothing against those shows. . . I just wish I had an IQ low enough to enjoy them.'

"A completely new concept in Television, a Vorderman free channel!!"

'Thank you for welcoming us into your...'

"Can I have a change of venue to another media judge on another network?"

"Every time it comes on I feel like leaving the house."

"You might have seen Judy's uterus on a recent PBS special."

TV screens reads 'Giant Government Database' - 'Oh no! Not more Big Brother.'

"That thing gives you a sense of power doesn't it?"

'Why don't we just get rid of the TV?'

City Dump: Garbage/Metal/Reality TVs

'Everything is illusory, but television is ESPECIALLY illusory.'