Tv Licence Inspector Gifts

"TV licence please..."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

IRS Audit Section

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Tax Collector

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Please help me! Every payday, I get robbed some gangsters called 'Fiscal Authority'!

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'