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"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Spelling a newspaper

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

What is the difference between a migrant and a refugee?

'What did He do before he was God?'

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"Who had pink eyes, long ears, a cute little cotton tail and brings baskets of eggs on Easter morning?"

'Big Issue...'

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'Crisis? Which crisis?'

Huge support for focus groups etc but nobody at the political meeting

Media Reports: Vast majority of Americans agree - 'Country is going in wrong direction'...

"Free speech" does not mean your ignorance is equivalent to our knowledge!

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

Uni. Snowflake Library

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Hey Dad? Are we still atheists?"

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

Benchwarmer.

"Do you know how masculine it is to risk crying?"