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Controversy over species-change operations...

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"I don't know which makes me happier: switching to natural gas to save money or watching the fight about fracking in order to get that gas."

THE UNCANNY PREDICTIONS OF THE GREAT NOWSTRADAMUS, 'A prominent academic will suggest that females may be intrinsically emotionally different from males... and the feminists will become hysterical.

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

'Say, did you guys catch that report on the most important meal of the day?' ... 'I swear Breakfast, if you don't shut up already...'

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

"I wonder if we're talking about the same Grace Jones."

Rush Linbaugh - Radio Commentator.

Planck's Constant Nagging.

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"So … Rachel tells me you're Canadian …"

Mother Nature

"I'm just so impressed with what you're saying about the victimization of men."

"This evolution show is a crock! There's no way we evolved."

"So, it's cultural miss-appropriation, is it?"

"And finally...."

"This will nver work, David. Your family is significantly less non-obvervant than mine."

The Best-Seller of 1994: The Last Taboo

'The idea that the firm is dominated by boring white middle-aged male lawyers is clearly wrong...for example I know for a fact that Gerald wears a basque under his suit.'

"I wonder how the experts can talk about increasing temperatures within years... the same experts who can't even do a reliable forecast for tomorrow..."

'It's never been irradiated, and it never will be.'