Tv Detox Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I know how to fix that!'

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

America Off-line.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

The cradle of mankind

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Is anything good on?"

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."