Tv Cookery Show Enthusiast Prints

'It's indigestion due to your lifestyle, you're watching too many T.V. cookery shows.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"When did they add this channel?!"

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

Chefs

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

'Son, do you think I'm ready for my own cooking show?'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

"Apart from writing your new cookery book what else have you been up to?"

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

"And now a recipe for disaster..."

'I must be some kind of cooking pervert. I only like to watch someone else do it.'