Tv Commentator In Their Own Mind Pillows

"Look! Look! I could do that and what would I get? Plenty of earache, that's what! And would I deserve it, I'll say! Tsk!"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Can you hear me now?"

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

"Actually, we will replace you."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."