Ironical Commentator Pillows

'Why do they use that stuff? I mean, OK, it gives them a vocal advantage. But steroids ruin the integrity of heckling.'

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"With great power comes great reward."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"Can you hear me now?"

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

'Oh, that's a deduction to pay for management perks.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

Suggestions Get Shredded.

"Today the House Intelligence committee began its investigation of the FBI's investigation of the House Intelligence Committees investigation of the FBI..."

Do you believe in money at first sight?

'I can dish it out, but I can't take it.'

'ANOTHER fatwah?! Who have you been sharing your thoughts with this time?'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

Art Gallery.

"Listen, pal! I didn't spend seven million bucks to get here so I could yield the floor to you."

People want as much government as they deserve.

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

"There's a customer-satisfaction questionnaire for you to fill out and for us to not look at and immediately throw away."

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"The only reason I would take a job in government is to write a tell-all book!"

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

'I'm screwed...'

'This is what we call a 'patient'...you MAY find some reference to one of them on page 435 of your manual.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."