Ironic Commentary Lover Pillows

"It could have been worse."

"I am not just a 'Hater.' I happen to be very discriminating in my prejudices."

"Bloody politicians! They give all our hard earned tax money to lazy unemployed people! What about us? We can't even afford to buy a fifth TV, an eighth smartphone or twelve packs of cigs a day!"

Send this message to ten of your friends and you will be happy...

Wifi in Hell

"Look! No hands!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

"You are still here."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Where Are They Now?'

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"I'll have dessert first."

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

Campaign 2016

Healthy Eating Casualties

New anti-obesity cookbook.

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'