Ironic Commentary Admirer Pillows

"This is a good jumping off point for our final topic."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

How about going easy on the carbs

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

Czarcasm

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Hot cross buns

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"