Thoughtful Commentator Pillows

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

"Take my coffee—it's worth five dollars."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Wifi in Hell

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

'Cartoonist thinking'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Sir Patrick Moore.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Tree of Public Opinion.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

And now, for a rebuttal.

Capital

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

The Human Condition

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."