Tv Classics Appreciator Gifts

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

The Old Time Television Channel

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Berta screams out!

"What would you like to watch again?"

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Biliard Enthusiast

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

Selfie

Tsars in their eyes.

John Laurie

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Greek goddess

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

New Course At The New School

George Baker

'This gene is necessary for experiencing pleasure when watching 'The Three Stooges'. It occurs only on the 'Y' chromosome.'

You probably perfected your ability to mete out justice by watching "Perry Mason" as a kid. Personally, I perfected my ability to lie by watching "Leave It To Beaver."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

The Moe Howard Installation

Athena

'Good evening. I am an onscreen announcer, so you must have time-travelled back to 1956.'

'I told him not to touch that dial.'

'Good morning, Ginger! -- Good morning, Mary Ann!'