Tusk Aficionado T-Shirts

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Jack in the Box

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

One-man band rehearsal.

Lord of the Rings IV.

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Cowboy

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

"I don't know art, but I know what I like."

The Landlord Of The Rings

'Prior to serving as a network political policy analyst...our next speaker was a standup comic.'

"As seen on TikTok...."

X-ray of body shows skull.

Sauron's Sore Eye

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

'You love anything tacky, don't you?'

How does she get her grass so green?

"The americans have been sniffing around again looking to poach some rainmakers...."

Motor Cycle Service - Biker having more studs added to jacket

The comedy club

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

"Reverse two and a half somersaults with one and a half twists - WOW!"

I'm sorry, but we only need one amoeba.

"Don't call me ska face!"

Welcome to Texas...caution: BBQ smoke maybe on roads next 1250 miles.

MY OTHER COAT IS A FUR

"You idiot! I spent all morning covering that with hairs!"