Turtle Whisperer T-Shirts

Patience

'Use this in both eyes, three times daily.'

'Fetch, boy...fetch...'

"I'm returning him. He's incredibly condescending."

Turtles discussing inflation rates over the past 50 years.

Why the limbo never caught on big at turtle parties.

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

He claims he's the oldest turtle in the world.

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

Turtle with Aerial.

"No seriously, I can't sleep on my back: I could die if nobody were there to turn me back upright..."

"You're getting a time-out because Mommy needs a time-out."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

Police Feline Unit

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Local Knowledge

"Quick, start the car!"

Bite out of fishing pier.

'You lifted your head.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

Biofelineism

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'Your shoe's untied.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."