Tortoise Whisperer T-Shirts

'The talks were great, but the changeovers between speakers were way too slow...'

'I've heard about your race with the rabbit a thousand times. Let's talk about something else.'

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

"Perhaps, that will teach you not to wake the tortoise too early!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Dog Dreams

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"This never happened."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"