Turtle Racer Mugs

Turtle Sledge

Speed Dating for Turtles

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Turtle Trailer Court

The Stripper

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"I caught a snapping turtle. I hope you're not sitting on him."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Bradley Wiggins

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

Funky Facts: Turtles.

'He's never been the same since he came out of his shell.'

Turtle to counselor: 'If you don't mind I won't lay on my back.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

Fight against theft of endangered species

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

A turtle is pulling a shell as a camper

'He was only ninety three.'

Turtle Eviction

'I guess we both enjoy long slow walks together.'

'It was your bright idea to eat out!'

"Just follow me around for a day with a camera. It would make a great reality TV show. ... I'm serious."

'I'll marry you, but only if you agree to separate shells.'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

See, no monster under your bed