Turning Point Pillows

"Ah, that was another era. That was a month ago."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'We need someone who can turn this company around in a hurry.'

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

'Check out what I invented! Looks like we're even now!'

The man who finally got his account in the black

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

'Flat Earth Society' with a globe-shaped drinks cabinet.

'Hey, Pam, what do you think? I get extra air miles for using my own transportation!'

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten I'm making pastry purses with brie and cranberry confit."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

Eddie's Fables presents: "The Worm and the Caterpillar"

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

"It appears that while others grow older and wiser, you're just growing older."

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

"Peep.....Peeep...bloody peep!"

I get knocked down and I stay there

Castaway's bad luck.

Before Powerpoint Presentations

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

Needlepoint Viewpoint

"This is all still just SO disturbing."

'He's three tomorrow and from now on everything he sees will probably be repeats!'

Comb Sweet Comb.

A man holding balloons shaped like '41'

It's seasonal depression time!