Turning Three Pillows

'He's three tomorrow and from now on everything he sees will probably be repeats!'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Gary turns 40.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Ed's receding hairline!

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Child in a bear suit.

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Midlife: You Are Here.

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

The end of innocence

Classic Movie Remakes (for people your age)

'Your 40th? Well maybe if you're talking about the number of cans you've had!'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!