Turning 40 Pillows

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'You know you're 40 when...'(women)

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

How to injury yourself as an adult

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

Make a wish! I wish I wasn't forty...

"Nothing serious, Bob - just a case of the forties."

"They say the early forties is the new late thirties."

'My life began at 40 but my credit problems had a huge head start.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Happy Birthday!

'Don't get hysterical...Life begins at 40...'

Life begins at forty? - That's when my arthritis kicked in.

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Life Begins at 40

"Give her a few minutes, she just realized she's reached the age when you get excited by things like air fryers."

'They say that life begins at 40. Actually it takes that long to realize that it's already half-way gone.'

Mid-Lawn Crisis!

Naughty at 40!

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Gary turns 40.

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

No use being self-conscious

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

"That wig makes you look 10 years sillier!"

Boobing for Apples

Fortieth Birthday

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Mom, you say 40 is the new 30. . . can a D be the new C?"

"Unfortunately, time is catching up to my hourglass figure."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Mildred....is that you?'