Turning 100 Gifts

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Old man's birthday cake erupts with the Grim Reaper inside

". . . What's the secret of your long life?"

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!

Classic Movie Remakes (for people your age)

"Gee....Al's losing his pimento!...."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

Late Bloomers

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Santa Harley

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

Manopause: The time when a man has more hair growing out of his nose and ears than he does his head.

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

'Mildred....is that you?'