Turning 100 T-Shirts

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Old man's birthday cake erupts with the Grim Reaper inside

". . . What's the secret of your long life?"

"Your contents have shifted."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

Late Bloomers

"Gee....Al's losing his pimento!...."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

Manopause: The time when a man has more hair growing out of his nose and ears than he does his head.

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

"He said his goal was to make it to 100."

Getting old...

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

'Mildred....is that you?'