Turmeric Devotee Gifts

"It's all down to turmeric!"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Spa

Picking pastries.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Mulch madness"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Doughnut Making

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

"You try staying this this after giving birth two million times."

"All those who want the doughnuts with jam in the middle please raise your hand."

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

"I wish he'd spend less time baking and more time inventing."

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

Who says you're pasture prime?

"You complete me."

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

Sellafield Nuclear Power plant being run by Homer Simpson

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

"Waiter! There's a dangling participle in my alphabet soup!"

Spa day

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"That is why you never forget your roots."

'This should increase our business.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Burke isn't in right now. He ate some funky yogurt he found in the back of the fridge and he's in the bathroom - how shall I put this - promoting from within."