Turkey Sympathizer Pillows

"This year, I'm ready."

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

"They're slaughtering turkeys every year to celebrate this guy's birthday! Why do you think he hated turkeys so much?"

"Could we just skip the Thanksgiving holiday this year?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

God perfects his turkey design.

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Holiday Overkill.

Turkey Dinner and gravity

Christmas escape plan

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

'Do you think they'll feed us something special for Christmas dinner?'

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.