Turkey Sympathizer Pillows

"This year, I'm ready."

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

"They're slaughtering turkeys every year to celebrate this guy's birthday! Why do you think he hated turkeys so much?"

"Could we just skip the Thanksgiving holiday this year?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

Before and After Holiday Diet

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

God perfects his turkey design.

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

Turkey Dinner and gravity

Holiday Overkill.

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

Christmas escape plan

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"