Turkey Day Fanatic Pillows

'Sure I know when you eat turkey and dressing and pumpkin pie. During halftime.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

Turkey Dinner and gravity

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

God perfects his turkey design.

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

Holiday Overkill.

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

Christmas escape plan

'Voila! Pre-plucked turkey!'

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.

'My Christmas bonus.'