Turf Fanatic Pillows

How does she get her grass so green?

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Pete Sampras

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Sober Tooth Tiger

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Hmm, now that I see it, I think I like the dam back where you put it before.

Club House. An eighty dollar green fee! -- I haven't even teed-off yet and I'm already in the hole!

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'Was it the beaver dream again?'

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

'No matter where the deer are they will be able to hear this grunt.'

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

Tee for Two!

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Ernie, I hear you're an amateur botanist who believes some plants are baseball fans. Yes, ivy plants root for the Chicago Cubs and dream of being in Wrigley Field themselves on day. King Ferns are fans of the Kansas City Royals. Cattails follow the Detroit Tigers. And Redwood trees are huge supporters of their local team in San Francisco. That makes sense. Giants love the Giants! Redwood trees are the team's biggest fans!

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

'For having no natural enemies we sure are not liked too much.'

'Son, you need to describe the boy who took your yo-yo to our Etch-A-Sketch artist.'

'I don't know what these things are, but Master spends a lot of time away from the house with them...'

"I think I see your problem...You're standing too close to the ball"

'My client's human rights have been violated by deporting him before the good weather and Andy Murray's win.'

"You've been overdoing the tree hugging."

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

I warned you to keep it low!

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

"We must prepare for the threat of China laying claim to Raducanu."