Tune Investigator T-Shirts

"Before I go in, just what did Billy Joe McCaluster throw off the Talihatchie bridge?"

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

I love Marimba

"This is not good at all!"

"Honey, check it out — giant porcupine tracks."

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

"Oooh...yes! I frickin' love this song too!"

"Here's a little song I wrote after hearing it on the radio."

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

Fingerprint Show

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

'That's my dad. He does his best work in the bathroom.'

Birdwatchers making each other playlists

Two men converse secretively

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"I'm not building a nest this year—I want to focus on my music."

A bird's song is trapped in a musical stave.

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"Apparently the little miss was last seen sitting on a tuffet. If only we knew what a tuffet was."

Businessman sits below a chart showing falling music sales in notes.

'Do you know the Lincolnshire poacher?'

"My libido?...What the hell does this even mean?"

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

'-and she gets headaches every time the doorbell plays our tune.'

Remember, he's simple - It's not WHAT you bark at him, it's the TONE you use when you bark at him.

Hello, auto club? I have an emergency. What's happened, sir? Ever since I upgraded to iOS 8, my iPhone hasn't been syncing with my car stereo over bluetooth. I don't feel comfortable driving without being able to hear my "driving" playlist. How long till you get here? Sir, we're going to have to revoke your membership.

Everybody Tunes in at The Tune Inn

Can't carry a tune. Please help.

"You definately have a musical ear"

Two musicians

Consolidated Musical Instrument Factory

"Was it you dad's idea to play 'taps' at our wedding?"

Predatory Pianos.