Tub-time Reader Gifts

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

Husband burrows under sand to get a closer look at woman sunbathing topless at the beach.

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Holiday Reading and Back to Work Reading

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

Desert Island Books

Child reading on the toilet is abducted by aliens.

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

'She said to read between the lines to infer the answer, but it's hard to see in between them because they're so close together.'

Custer's last tan.

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

Fifty Shades of Yellow

'Certainly not, Philip! And calling me Babe will get you nowhere!'

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"