Tsa Worker Gifts

"Do you thik you'll ever get tired of working for the TSA Randy?"

The Anti-Agent

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

NSA - 'Start Leakin'.'

'It's called playing. Provides one with a sense of accomplishment - without actually accomplishing anything.'

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

'One carry-on!'

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

TSA

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

"Computer Help Line? I think something bad has happened to my hard drive!"

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

'Of course it's not your fault, Smedley, but someone has to accept the responsibility.'

Curate talking to miners

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

TSA Lines

"They do have a calming presence."

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

"I guess he IS telling the truth.... Well, Merry Christmas, Santa! Have a good flight."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'