Tsa Officer Gifts

'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'

Going through the wringer at airport security

"For your comfort, you will be searched by someone of your own level of sexiness."

Given his lack of dental insurance, Tony was initially happy with the officer of a federally subsidized cavity search.

GATE 13, DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK!

"She's demanding to be patted down again."

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

"So, explain this photobomb concept one more time."

"Look on the bright side...you'll be here for all eternity, which is still better than the TSA security lines this travel season..."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

"Careful."

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Gladstone returning to Westminster without a new ticket

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'So then. The handsome p.c. noticed that the tax disc on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage was well out of date.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'One carry-on!'

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

'As a cost-cutting measure, from now on we're going to print the stimulus money on recycled paper.'

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

Attention: Speed Troughs

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"Computer Help Line? I think something bad has happened to my hard drive!"