Trying For A Child Pillows

'Are you sure you can't get me pregnant, being invisible?'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Use your inside scream."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

The Elephant in the Womb

'You could say this is how my husband and I support local arts.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

The unforgiving tree

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Milk sideburns

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

Giving Birth

'I thought you wanted him to have all the things you never had.'

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'