Trying For A Baby Pillows

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"

'We're trying for a baby!'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'In vitro fertilization is an option for women who don't want to put all their eggs in one basket.'

"Doctor, that fertility drug you gave me seems to have some side effects"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They grow up so fast."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'She's just great with the children.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun