Getting Pregnant Pillows

"Hey- truce? It looks like I might be fertile!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"They grow up so fast."

Cry babies.

'I told you it would be useful.'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'ooh! A womb with a view.'