Truth Twisters T-Shirts

'We have good news and bad news. The good news is we've developed a credible spin for the bad news...'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Curtsey

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"No, wait. What if the cop character is the murderer, and the mobster guy is completely innocent?"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

Elevator choices: Up, Down, Different Narrative.

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

'I can't seem to find the 'surprise' ending.'

"I agree, Glenn. The first sentence needs to hook the reader."

"It's the grisly story of the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a brilliant novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who..."

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

'Best Seller'

Burke and Hare and Hare

"Better than Chekhov"

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.