Truth Stretchers Gifts

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

'Keep fit.'

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

Gymnast tangled up.

Truth, Justice, Equal Time.

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

'I'll have three of those trout, but throw them to me. . . I want to tell the wife I caught them.'

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

"May I ask why you have 'inspired by true events' on the top of your resume?"

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

Yoga

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

Yoga in Heaven