Truth Stretchers Pillows

I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd embroider my memoirs a bit.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

'Keep fit.'

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

Truth, Justice, Equal Time.

Gymnast tangled up.

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

'I'll have three of those trout, but throw them to me. . . I want to tell the wife I caught them.'

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

Yoga

"May I ask why you have 'inspired by true events' on the top of your resume?"

Yoga in Heaven

Evidence board

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."