Truth Tweaker Pillows

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Freedom of the press

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

"Anything else...apart from the wheel?"

"I'd like to report a case of historical sexual abuse in the sixties. I'd like to - but I can't!"

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Candor is the Best Policy

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

"I think that one is a little too honest."

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

A great coach provides honest and constructive feedback, even when it's not what the other person wants to hear."

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

"I swear to tell my own truth..."

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

The Political Prisoner

'I've found the truth hurts, but it's nothing compared to the headache of trying to remember a pack of lies.'

Shireen Abu Akleh

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

"And it appears brutal honesty still has a place in this market."