Truth Tweakers Gifts

"When you told me that your father owned several banks, you failed to mention that they're all piggy banks."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Skeptic Tank.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Freedom of the press

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

The Secret Sauce of American Exceptionalism

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

The Choice is Obvious

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

"I'd like to report a case of historical sexual abuse in the sixties. I'd like to - but I can't!"

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

Turning around - searching for why hate happens.

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Candor is the Best Policy

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

"I think that one is a little too honest."

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

Department of Dot Connection

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

Truth, Justice, Equal Time.

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

"Read a little about it"

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.

I won't share credit for our invention of a truth serum, because I've always hated you and your homely family.