Trojan Horse Enthusiast Gifts

'I like the look of that Trojan Boy.'

"They say not to look a gifthorse in the mouth so this looks okay to me, Sarge."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'What's founder?'

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Stubborn Horses

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'It's a hybrid.'

Horse Clean-up

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

Remounts for the Yeomanry