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'You can come closer - I'm a plankton eater.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Some card-game puns

Primitive magician

Candid Camera store.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

Yoyo sheep

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'First he warms our bowl, now he's feeding us... And you thought he wasn't friendly.'

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Magic Tricks

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

Magic Tricks

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Grimm's Fairytales - The Turnip; Student Tricked into 'Sack of Knowledge'

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."