Trick-or-treat Expert Gifts

"I just don't think we're cut out for seasonal work..."

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

"Polka-Haunts-us."

'I swear, you kids get better costumes every year! Where's your trick-or-treat bag?'

"Hey Evelyn! Where's that stuff that tasted funny?"

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Trick or Tweet

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"This is your Aunt Blizzard. She's the wicked witch of the Northeast."

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Alien Spaceship Crashes - On Halloween. House owner think he is trick or treating.

'All I've got so far is a bag of stuffing.'

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"With Tia Carmen's chickens, we'll get twice as much candy!"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"I'm your sun!"

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Friendly? I'll say! You walk up to a house and they give you candy."

Gingerbread House out of Candy.

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

Halloween Bummer: Your Mom makes you wear a sweater over your costume.

"Bye. Sorry we didn't have any worms."

"When's the last time you flossed?"

Halloween. Trick or Treat trophy.

'My bag had a hole in it so I ate all my candy.'

"I switch to this mask if I know the homeowner is more of a cat person."

Witch's Smile.

"Too soon?"

"That's not my dog. It's my dad."

"Oh how cute, a little flight crew! Here's some trash."