Triathlon Participation Gifts

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

Girl in Yellow Jumper

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Iron Man Contest

Champions biting their medals

"Look, will you forget about them? They're in the past. The important thing is what I feel now – about you!"

'GET READY! SET!...'TIME!'

Marathon costume

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

Wheelchair Basketball

A triathlon for the lazy and unfit.

Quackie was sure he would beat all his competitors, mistakenly believing that the three stages of the triathlon were swimming, running and flying.

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'He's not my granddad, he's my father by his third marriage.'

Olympic Bubble

'No, thanks. I'm fine.'

Tortoise & Hare.

I'm a vegan triathlete

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

World's Worst Triathlete.

Paris Olympics Triathlon

"Oh, we have a special hell for triathletes. It's just like regular life, except you can't talk about your triathlons."

'Ah, a stepping stone to success.'

The evolution of triathletes.

Runners have a pay toll.

Oh, that's embarrassing. 23. Dog Run.

Dance marathon.

Actually, I prefer to ride in the mountains.

World media weighs in on gaffe-plagued Winter Olympic Games.

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."