Trial Talker T-Shirts

'Well, I've never called an expert witness on expert witnesses before...'

Trial by Media

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"You can't plead cute."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Law Offices

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

'Your honor, the defense would like to buy a vowel!'