Trendy Bug Pillows

The Millennialpede

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Hoxton map.

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

"What's trending?"

Can I get you another coffee?

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Back To School Supplies.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'Hey, we're in style!'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Oh, no - not another theme pub!"

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

How very Balham!

'These kids today look absolutely ridiculous.'

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

Man has chains on him, along with his pet dog and a fire plug.

"I plant the kale back there to keep hipsters out of the good stuff!"

I'm so sick of 2017, Randy. What? It's still 2016. I know. But everyone's saying how horrible 2016 is and how they can't wait for it to be over. I don't want to be part of the herd, I want to be a trendsetter. There are better ways to be a trendsetter, little buddy. #hashtag-2017-stinks.

"You call it 'Wordle?' Do you think it will catch on?"

"I used to hate the idea of facial hair - but then it grew on me..."

Celebrity Rainwear

"You have the phrase book. Congratulate him on his small carbon footprint."